Let me tell you a story.
Disclaimer: All the characters in this story are fictional and bear no resemblance to any events, places or characters either living, dead or hanging around as ghosts. Any such occurrences are merely co-incidental. This disclaimer is very important and has the same bearing and validity as similar statements like “Deshamanya Deposits Are Subject To Ponzi scheme Risks. Please Read Deshmanya Deposit Disclaimer Carefully Before Investing in Platinum Window Scam Card Company.”
Once upon a time in a country far far away, there lived a man called Dirt Blacker. He wanted to be famous but didn’t know how. At that time the literacy rate in his country was not yet established but Dirt Blacker did possess the conning skills, so he published untrue pages dedicated to a cause, the cause being some publicity Dirt Blacker ever craves for.
Not happy with his life, Dirt Blacker tried to find other ways of realizing his life’s dream, that of becoming a little uncelebrated celebrity, much like the unsung hero that he is. He sold mud. He sold crap, he sold balls, he sold comics. He even tried bogging on Goththu. But he was never able to make any name.
One day as Dirt Blacker was walking alone at night, He saw, smelt and heard something that would change his life forever…
He had a Buddha Moment; he was enlightened and attained another level of intelligence. In his country this Moment is known as ‘The Great Awakening Moment of Dirt Blacker’ and is the basic philosophy of the religion called Blackerism, much like Buddhism.
Dirt Blacker had seen a big man come out of a restaurant. This man had let something out from his tailpipe. It smelt….soon Dirt Blacker realized that this produce was made by every single human being in the world. Slowly he started to sell it on his bog. Over time he became unsuccessful. So unsuccessful that he became a super fuckwit.
He even started to write something called “The Covert Record Of Events Of Dirt Blacker: I Always Had The Knowledge That I Was Going To Be Valuably famous. At No Point Was I Uncertain about It Even For One Sixtieth of a Time span Comprised of Three Thousand Six Hundred Seconds.”
Dirt Blacker put up a picture of himself on his bog and wrote under that “The Place Where ideas and opinions Are Bought And Sold For A Mutually Agreed Upon Sum Of Money or other such benefits (preferably some cheap publicity for me at your expense), Is The Place Where I Am Worshipped And Given Offerings. I Am It’s Supreme Being, Knower And Omnipotent Ruler. Are There Any Embodiments Of Some Sort Of Consciousness That Possess The Desire To Enter Into A Tangible Union Resulting In A Relationship That Would Indicate An Associative Confederation?”
Suddenly One day …..
Dirt Blacker heard something in the basin. It sounded like a big fart. He drilled near the sound and lo and behold he had found gas.
Dirt Blacker called some scientists.
They checked out the gas and smelt it. They said “Yeah, That’s The Stuff. It’s 100% Gas”.
Dirt Blacker asked, “How Did This Happen?” The scientists said, “The Country’s Population has now crossed twenty million. Everyone Is Producing and Reproducing. All the Tailpipe Produce Is Getting Trapped Here. The Basin Can No Longer Contain It, It’s starting to overflow.”
Dirt Blacker said “Oh Damn, I Need to Put This Stuff in Bottles and Cylinders and Sell It on my bog. Nobody Tell Indi.”
Apparently this gas was code named DJ.
Dirt Blacker thought to himself “Now there is DJ Gas. My Gas And I Want It Fresh from the Basin. Not Some Second Hand Stuff From A Tube.”
Dirt Blacker then ran back to his office and called up DJ, the new gas in town and pleaded him to support him in the fight for gas with Indi.
DJ, apparently a nice gentleman said that he had received similar interview requests from many but he would do Dirt Blacker a favor, write it off in his charity account.
Dirt Blacker got all excited, let some gas out and said “It’s Exit Interview time from Now” Sigh…
Yes people, its interview time now in Dirt Blacker’s glamorously fragile celebrity life.
You got fired? Don’t worry. Dirt Blacker will interview you. His coverage will give you the break you’ve been waiting all your life for.
Moral of the story: When you are sacked, Meet Dirt Blacker. He is a caring individual ever willing to hear your side of the sorry tale.
Dirt Blacker is awesome !