These days I am alone in Colombo. My Mom, Dad, Sis and Bro are out of town and my only female friend is out of town too. Since I didn’t want to spend my August weekends alone & feeling desperate, I asked my good friend Zeenath: “Zeenath, would it be a good idea to sell six hours of my time on my weekends on eBay?”
“What would you do and who would bid for your offer?” She was straight to the point.
“I am supposed to be a hot chic. There has to be somebody who will be willing to pay at least 1 dollar to spend six hours with me,” I insisted.
“What if nobody wanted to spend time with you on your weekends? Wouldn’t you be depressed further?”
“I would create another eBay ID and bid for my own time. Then, me and my split-personality will dine together,” I said with a chuckle. But deep down, I was a little happy I didn’t post it on eBay.
Why leave familiar territory? So, here is an offer:
If you stay somewhere close by, that is around Bambalapitiya, and don’t mind spending time with an obnoxious bitch who can at least try to make you laugh…why don’t we meet up? I promise to learn some new jokes & practice hard.
Since it is my request it is only natural that I bear all expenses as part of the treat. If you are interested, please mail me at rehanithegirl@yahoo.com with your contact number so that I can get in touch with you.
Disclaimer: If you aren’t in Bambalapitiya/ Colombo and would like to fly in from some other city/country…let me tell you that that I can’t afford your air tickets. Would loveeeee the gesture, though.
Answering some doubts you might have…
1- Obviously, gender is important. Preferably girls.
2- If guys, strictly boys younger than me are allowed. That is immature boys below 21. Wouldn’t mind harmless babies and sweet idiots like disease, lost soul and chavie. Hah I can be safe going by their blogs.
3- I will let you know three days in advance if we are going to have lunch together. The idea is to give you enough time.
4- We will meet for lunch, perhaps. And extend it to dinner - you being the guest, you will get to decide if you want the dinner with me or not
5- I stay around Bambalapitiya, so any place in Bamba, Colpetty or around is fine with me
6- We can also squeeze in a drive to some place or a movie together (up to you)
7- I do not drink or smoke. Sorry if you are into any of these nasty habits. I don’t entertain such people.
8- I drive, so transport is no issue. I can pick and drop you back
9- I hate pets. So no dogs with you
10- I am a strict Muslim, will not dine at any place that serves pork. I have my own ways of doing things though I do not cover my head and act silly
11- Tolerance is mandatory when I am around
12- My interests vary from Software, Ads, Journalism, to religion, philosophy and politics. See if I am compatible
13- If you are a computer geek then I would love your company. May be I will teach you some Face book hacks, password retrieval tricks, advanced graphics and animation. I can relate to techies easily, plus i will hack your password in front of you if you challenge me. Serious !
14- Last but not least people have said I’m a lovely host despite my bitchy personality. That's for you to decide......